Gran Café 1919, Puerto de Pollensa, January 4th, 2017
Finding an old document with the signature of Miguel de Cervantes in an Archive of Valencia is curious. But much more curious is that the signature of the Manco de Lepanto does not authenticate a Novela Ejemplar disappeared after a terrible storm after a frightful storm after an unpleasant “cold drop” but that appears in a statement made by the literary father of Alonso Quijano before the Criminal Justice of Valencia.
It’s absolutely amazing!
Beloved, this story possesses the three necessary ingredients to fascinate Mi Kitsch Kitchen: ugly loves, impossible idylls and destructive passions.
And above all the protagonists are Majorcan.
Miguel de Cervantes y Saavedra, the author of Don Quixote, the mate of Sancho Panza, the crazy lover of Dulcinea del Toboso, was interrogated on the 8th of November 1580 by the Valencian justice on the disappearance of a fisherman off the shores of Algiers.
The mess began when an clone of Michael Fassbender disappeared in Valencia, a guy named Jeroni Planelles. Who never read a book, not even this blog, and maintained a destructive passion affair with the “mistress” of a Mallorcan dealer.
At this point it is important to understand that Valencians are distrustful people, with those who live outside their puddle, for that reason they suspected that their countryman was murdered and quartered by four Majorcan friends of the Majorcan dealer (It is the typical mess named “cheat on”).
The judge of the trial, quickly threw in jail the four alleged killers, despite rumors went on, telling the young fisherman was not killed and fled and remain in an unknown location.
Everything was weird, weird, weird.
From night to morning, rapidly, quickly and swifly two sides were formed (something that fascinates the Spaniards, forming two sides, I think).
Anyway, on one side, Majorcan dealers, colleagues who believe in the innocence of the four defendants and help them. And on the other side, the residents of Valencia, convinced that the Majorcan dealers were guilty and supported the father of the fisherman who made the complaint.
Meanwhile the rumors continued to accumulate in the streets and whistling CHIT-CHAT that Planelles was alive and captive in Algiers.
Righ now Miguel de Cervantes appeared. A guy who had fought in the battle of Lepanto. The one who had ended up loosing his left arm and had spent five years in a Turkish jail, you know?
Until the Padre Trinitario, Fray Juan Gil helped him to get freed, so Cervantes could returned to Spain on a ship “one of those very old and large” that disembarked in Denia. When Cervantes got off on solid ground he went directly to the Convent of the Trinitarians to meditate a little bit and wait while someone put his papers in order, which is when the Majorcan dealers asked him to lend them a hand to solve, once and for all, issue of the missing young fisherman.
Of course, the illustrious gentleman did not hesitate to help the Majorcan.
The examining magistrate asked Cervantes two questions: whether he had seen Jeroni Planelles in Algiers between September and October, a statement he had heard from more than twenty people, testifying that Jeroni Planelles was alive and in Algiers.
Cervantes declared that he didn´t know Planelles but that while he was in Algiers “land of enemies of the Holy Catholic Faith and His Majesty” a Valencian dealer named Exarch told him a very strange case: The case of the lost fisherman.
And that while he was in the house of Padre Juan Gil, one day he observed a group of people writing on a table, and that when he approached them and asked what were they doing, they answered, that they were writing a testimony of Planelles being alive, that they were going to deliver to Benedetto Pito, a Genoese dealer who resided in Valencia, who was going to leave immediately with his ship off to that city.
But Benedetto Pito did not deliver the letter to Valencian justice ever. Mi Kitsch Kitchen ignores why.
Cervantes explained that one day he saw in Algiers, next to a spiral staircase, a young man with “rather thick lips” that someone said was Planelles. The story ends one day in April 1581 when Planelles appeared alive in Valencia and the judge freed the four Majorcans and condemned the false witness to exile and public scorn.
That´s all folks.
-Eh? Come on! Wait a moment! And what about the “mistress” of the Mallorcan dealer?
-I do not know, I suppose she cried a little, but not too much, and she looked for another fisherman, a Genoese.
-And the Majorcan dealer?
-I imagine he kicked the bucket immediately, upset, I think, he was quite old, leaving the “mistress” as his universal heiress.
-And the four Majorcans accused of murdering the young fisherman?
-They got on board the first ship of Transmediterránea for the Majorcan Island where they found passage. Or maybe they disembarked in Ibiza to celebrate the end of their ordeal with a party and ended up in San Antonio, and probably enrolled in a hippie commune.
-And the other clone of Michael Fassbinder, the young fisherman?
-He still continues to make his own, that is, falling in love with fools. Although, he never again dared to disappear without warning, I imagine.