The city of canals and tourist mass, June 2nd, 2017
Damien Hirst has decided to rest for a short time in Venice, during the Biennal, a fair of Contemporary Art, more or less.
The famous JBAs (acronym for young British artists) would curate the expo of a treasure rescued from the bottom of the sea. The wreck of the UNBELIEVABLE have been divided between the Palace Grassi and Punta de la Dogana.
The story is absolutely exciting:
It seems that in 2008 “someone” (MI KITSCH KITCHEN ignored who it is) discovered a treasure on the East African coast. A super ancient treasure that belonged to a guy called CIF AMOTAN II, a freedman from Antioch. A mate who lived in the first half of the second century.
A wise man, who knew how to take advantage of the opportunities offered by the Roman empire, when the waves of barbarians arrived, and he tapped his ears where he had to stick them and lend his shoulders to help them out.
Come on! a hustler who accumulated a hudge fortune making murky financial investments that gave him excellent results. CIF AMOTAN II built a collection of master pieces based on collecting items across the ancient world, put them in a big ship to transfer them to a temple where they were going to be exhibited.
Dear followers, in that ship there was everything, believe me, original works, copies, fakes, and unreliable pieces from looting and pillaging.
A ship called APISTOS, which in Hellenistic Greek means the same as in English, UNBELIEVABLE, and in Cervantes´s Spanish INCREÍBLE. An eccentric guy with very bad taste. A compulsive collector of art. An stuckism mate who wanted to be recogniced as a BIG sponsor of Art. That is to say, a super tacky new rich.
But APISTOS did not unload the treasure in the temple because the vessel sank in the Indian Ocean after a storm (the typical thing that happens to treasures that are stuck in traveling by boat instead of doing it by airplane) and remained hidden for 2000 years until “someone” discovered it in the port of Azania (a fictional nation near Ethiopia that already appeared in Black Mischief of Evelyn Waugh, who wrote Return to Brideshead, a magnificent novel that some confuse with a film of Enma Thomson).
Right now, for only 18€, Damien Hirst shows you all the pieces rescued from the depths of the Indic ocean. A UNBELIEVABLE treasures replete with sculptures with coral remains and marine forms, several copies made by Contemporary Art museums so we can appreciate how they were before they were damaged and a lot of jewelry and gold and silver coins.
A walk that is a horror film is you area a sick of TRIPFOBIA as the boss of MI KITSCH KITCHEN.
A treasure that costs £50 million, more or less. A UNBELIEVABLE indigestion of Carrara marbles, lapislazulis, jades, emeralds, rock crystal, semi precious stones, gold and silver.
An artistic concept that MI KITSCH KITCHEN calls:
Mate! What you had done is an UNBELIEVABLE waste, don´t you know fineartstore.com?
P.S: They say that Noel Gallagher, an Englishman aged fifty, Oasis’s serious brother, had said about the song of Harry Styles “Sign of the Times”, a component of One Direction:
“People of my age have let themselves go, they’re fat, balding idiots with fading tattoos. They sit in their garage and write shit like ‘Sign of the Times’ for Harry Styles. Which, quite frankly, my cat could have written it in about 10 minutes!…I don’t mind the song, my wife was falling over herself, ‘Have you heard Harry Styles’ new song? It’s like Prince’, I thought, “Even without hearing it”, I can assure you it’s not like Prince!’”